Naraku VS
by tsutanai shikaku
Summary: Ever wonder what it'd be like if Naraku were to fight a muffin? A dandylion? Or any other bizzare object? Well, fasten your seat belts 'cuz you're in for one heck of a fight!
1. Naraku VS A Muffin

Disclaimer: I don't own Inu Yasha, any of it's characters, Naraku, or anything else I mention here.

separates the different parts of the story

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Naraku VS. a Muffin

It was a Sunday-- no a Thursday, wait, make it a Tuesday, yeah, a Tuesday afternoon.

And on this bright and sunny Tuesday afternoon, Naraku, probably the most---

Naraku: (raises an eyebrow) "probably"?

Fine, fine.

So, on this fine Tuesday afternoon, Naraku, who is the badest, boldest, and biggest demon in all of Feudal Japan, was taking--- a stroll, yes a stroll. (glares at Naraku, who then shuts up) and it was quite a nice one too, considering the warm, sunny weather. (continues to glare - continues to shut up) Thank you. But as the sun rose high, the demon grew tired, so he returned to his dark castle, and retired to his room.

Naraku: (yawns) How I grow tired of this hot weather… (walks into his room) Now, I hope I can finally get some rest without any interruptions from a certain bitchy reincarnation who thinks she is so bad because she can control the winds and all I can do is change my shape--(notices a small dark figure in the corner of his room) …Ho? What is this? (walks over to it and picks it up) (examines it) It's a….a muffin?

Naraku examined the baked good carefully, turning it various ways, and poking at it every now and then.

Naraku: (still examining the small brown muffin) What is this confectionery mystery? I don't seem to recall making a reincarnation of myself that was in the shape of a… muffin. (takes a good, hard look at it) Oh well, I suppose it's safe to eat. (bites into the muffin)

So, the black haired Demon took a bite into the muffin and---

Naraku: (spits out the muffin) ACKKK!!!! Putuii! (spitting noises) Ughhhhh… what foul substance it this!? Did Inu Yasha place it here knowing I would come across it…? Or was it that devilish Kagura? (spits again) Whoever put it here, they will pay…! (spits again) Ugghhh!! You fell creature!! Take this!! (throws the muffin against the wall)

So, losing what little temper he had, Naraku furiously threw the muffin against the wall. However, the sly pastry ricochet-ed off the wall, bouncing back at him and hitting the demon square in the face, and then it just sat there, leering at him, in all of it's muffin perfect-ness.

Naraku: (cradling his wounded face) AH! AH! AH! AH! AH! AH! AHHHHHHHH!!! Damn you, you foul pastry!! (rubs his know fractured nose) Why you, you, you-- YOU BAKED FIEND!! (raises in the air and summons up his demonic powers)

And so Naraku rose up in the air, summoning up his demonic powers, and aiming them toward the muffin, who still lay silently on the floor.

Naraku: (blasting the muffin with all his demon magic) TAKE THIS YOU EVIL MUFFIN, YOU BAKED FIEND YOU!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!! (continues to blast the muffin with his demonic powers)

As Naraku blasted away at the muffin, a certain bitchy reincarnation was making her way to her Master's room.

Kagura: (approaches Naraku's room) Master, are you there-- (sees him blasting the hell out of the poor muffin) (crosses her arms and sighs) Tell me, why in hell do I have to the reincarnation crazed imbecile? Must I deal with idiocy? What is this world coming to? (walks away)

So, the certain bitchy reincarnation left, leaving Naraku and the muffin alone in the room.

Naraku: (huffing and puffing) (returning back to the smoking, rubble-ridden mess that was once his beloved room and drawing back his powers) There… (huff) you fiend, that will show you (puff) to deal with the great Naraku!! Mwahahahahahaha!!!

The Muffin: (still sitting there in it's sheer muffin perfect-ness, peering at the worked up demon. Might I add that it is sitting on the _only _patch of ground that's left?)

Naraku: (still laughing insanely) MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! HAHAHA (cough) (hack) (begins to choke) Ackk… I must stop laughing like that… it's doing quite a number on my delicate throat! (hack) Alright, now, it is time to began clean up. Kagura! Kanna! Your master is calling for you to do an evil deed!

However, as Naraku called upon his most trusted minions, he noticed that, there, sitting in it's complete baked perfect-ness, was the tiny muffin, the very one that the black haired demon had blast to bits with his demonic powers-- or so he thought.

Naraku: (backing away slowly) W-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-what is this!!?? Is this small pastry's sinister power so great that it managed to survive my great demonic powers!!?? No, it cannot be! It cannot be! I am dreaming this! (pinches himself, and rather hard) OUCH! (rubs his arm) Okay, maybe not… however! How can this, this small muffin, even after showered with such great demonic force, the GREAT Naraku's demonic force, not be destroyed!!?? How can this be!!!!!!????? AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! (starts blasting at the muffin like crazy)

As Naraku insanely blasted at the muffin, his two most trusted minions/reincarnations, the rather bitchy one and the rather quiet one, approached the insane demon's room

Naraku: (blasting away at the muffin and laughing insanely) Hahahahahahahahhahaha!! Now, you sinister pastry, I will destroy you once and for all!!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! (continues to blast away at the muffin)

Kagura and Kanna enter

Kagura: So, you have to have Arc in order to defeat Trance Kuja?

Kanna: …No, no, you don't have to have that particular Eidlon, it's just recommended.

Kagura: Ohhh, okay, I see. Thanks Kanna!

Kanna: No problem-- (notices Naraku blasting away at the muffin and laughing like some lunatic in a psycho ward)

Kagura: …What's wrong, Kanna---- (sees what Kanna sees) Just what the hell is he doing…?

Naraku: (is still blasting away at the muffin and laughing insanely) MWAHAHAHAHAHA!! Take this! And that! And while your at it, why don't you take all of it!!!!! (continues to blast at the muffin) HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HAHAHA!!!!

Kanna & Kagura: (stare at their master with a baffled expression plastered upon their faces)

Kanna: …Kagura? I think our Master's finally lost it… (continues to watch Naraku blast the muffin to bits)

Kagura: Right-o there. But just what is he blasting at…?

Naraku: (draws back his powers and returns to the ground, which is now just ashes) There! It's gone, it's dead, all gone! Bye-bye!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!! All gone! Gone, gone, gone!!! HA-HA-HA-HA-HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Kagura: (stares at Naraku) Just what may I ask were you blasting at, Master?

Naraku: (runs up to Kagura laughing like a complete and total maniac) It was a muffin! The confectionery fiend had the audacity to challenge my awesome might!! But now it rues the day it dared cross my path! HA-HA-HA-HA-HAHAHA!!!

Kagura: (points to the muffin, which has managed to escaped the storm of attacks that the demon had thrown at it, unscathed and _still_ sitting there, in all of it's muffin perfect-ness) …You mean that muffin?

Naraku: Hm? (turns around and sees the muffin sitting there in all of it's muffin perfect-ness) **WHAT!!!??? **H-h-h-h-h--h-h-h-h-how could it, h-h-h-h-h-h-h-how!? Why? I do not, NO!! It is only my imagination!!!!!! No way a simple muffin could withstand that last attack!!!!!! No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, NO!!!!!! (starts pulling at his hair and laughing insanely) NO! NO! NO!!!! HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!! (runs around the room screaming)

Kagura: Uhhhhhh….. okay….

Kanna; (walks over to the muffin) (rips of a small piece and puts it in her mouth) Mmmmm… it's banana-nut! (continues to eat muffin while Naraku is running around screaming and laughing like some psycho-path-ic psycho)

Well, that's it for the first match, however,now it's your turn. You see that purple box in the bottom left hand corner? No, your other left stupid-head, yeah, that one-- no, wait, yeah. Okay, see the purple button next to the purple box? I don't care if that sounds confusing, just press it, there you go, don't you feel intelligent? Now, by now you should've noticed the box that's popped up on the screen, I want you, yes you, to write a review in it. Thank you. And remember kids, no "lol, that was funny" or "omg you gotta update this!", you gotta write a full review, no, no, I don't wanna hear your whining about how your too lazy to write a full review, just write it god dammit. Thank you.


	2. Naraku VS A Field of Daffodils

Yay, thanks for all the pretty-ful reviews and suggestions! (they'll definitely come in handy later in the story)

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As you remember in the last fight, Naraku came across a simple little muffin. Well, that simple little muffin enraged the half-demon to such stakes that it caused him to destroy his beautiful, lovely-tastic room. Due to a suggestion from Kanna, his quiet incarnation, he is now taking an evening stroll in his courtyard garden thingie. So, for your reading pleasure (why else would I be writing this….) I bring you Match Two: Naraku VS. A Meadow of Daffodils… it's just not the poor hanyou's day…

Naraku: I'm only having a bad day because someone (cough)Kagura(cough) keeps planting traps for me!!

Ummm….. sure thing, Naraku. Anyway, on with the story!

---------

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So, Naraku strolled down his colorful courtyard garden path that surrounded his mansion, trying to forget his trial with the sinister muffin.

Naraku: (humming to himself) Must… remember, muffins good. Quiet incarnation ate muffin, said yummy…ha-ha-hahahahaha!!!! (smacks self) I must get a hold of my self… for the sake of my evil-demon-ess-ness… yeah.

Kagura: (uses her kick-ass wind powers to magically appear in front of Naraku) So, master… how are you muffining.. I mean, how are you doing?... heheheheh… (snickers)

Naraku: DID YOU SAY MUFFIN!? I m-mean…. (turns his back to Kagura) Hmm… it's my rather bitchy incarnate. She's probably here to induce an army of evil banana-nut bread muffins upon me so she might possibly steal the jewel shards from me and--

Kagura: (raises an eyebrow) … What's the matter, Master Naraku?

Naraku: I'M ON TO YOU, KAGURA! (returns to strolling down the path, humming quietly to himself)

Kanna: (walks up behind Kagura) …Kagura, is Naraku going to be alright?

Kagura: Yes, Kanna, He's just going through a phase… (sighs)

Naraku: (turns around) DID YOU SAY MUFFIN!?

Kagura: No, Naraku, I didn't say the 'M' word. Now just go on your walk. (rolls her eyes)

Naraku: (shifty eyes) Yes, she tells me to go on a walk, but I _know_ what she's scheming… oh yes… (continues to stroll down the path, humming to himself)

Kagura: Uh, what a nut case…(sighs)

So, as the evil Naraku sauntered down the walkway in his garden, he came across a quiet meadow of daffodils.

Naraku: MUFFINS! (leaps in the air and has several violent spasms and screams a la Crocker from the Fairly Odd Parents) I mean, a meadow of daffodils… how disgusting.

Daffodils: (sway in the wind)

Naraku: What was that…? ARE YOU CONSPIRING WITH KAGURA!?

Daffodils: (sway in the wind)

Naraku: (lightly smacks himself) Ugh! Get a hold of yourself, Naraku! It's just a minute field of Daffodils… completely harmless. Look, there's a bench, maybe I should rest a spell on it… (walks over to the bench and sits down on it)

So, Naraku sat down on the small wooden bench, and began to relax, but it was shortly interrupted by--

Naraku: ACHOO!!!! (continuously sneezes) Ugh… why am I sneezing so uncontrollably…? (scratches his arm) And my skin… why has it suddenly become so… scratchy-like? ACHOO! (continues to scratch and sneeze uncontrollably)

****

And there you have it, even powerful half-demons can get an allergy attack. However, considering the extreme mood he's in…

Naraku: (cough) (sneeze) (scratch) (watery eyes) Ugh! Just what is going on here!?

Daffodils: (sway in the wind)

Naraku: (narrows his red, watery eyes) You…

Daffodils: (sway in the wind)

Naraku: AHA! I KNEW IT, I KNEW IT, I KNEW IT! YOU _ARE _CONSPIRING WITH KAGURA!!

Daffodils: (sway in the wind)

Naraku: ARGH!!!!!!! Stop mocking me! I _know _it was you who put that confectionery fiend, whose name I dare not say, in my room to find! You-you-you… BLOSSOMED BEASTS!!! (summons up his demonic powers)

Daffodils: (sway in the wind)

Naraku: ARGH!!! YOUR TREACHEROUS MOCKERY OF ME WILL SOON COME TO AND END!!! (releases his demonic powers and blows up the field) Ha-HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! (laughs insanely, then turns around to see that there is a whole other field of Daffodils) AH! KAGURA YOU WENCH! YOU'VE CALLED UPON REINFORCEMENTS!!!!!!!!!!! (blasts away at the sullen meadow)

****

So the black-haired Hanyou blasted away at the not-so-meadow-y meadow with all his might.

Naraku: (panting heavily) Uhhhhhuuuuhhhh, Uhhuuuuuuuuhhhhh…. (notices a small patch of Daffodils that he missed) So… I see that there are some survivors, non the less, I WILL DESTROY YOU ALL!!! (unleashes an enormous amount of demonic power on the tiny patch of Daffodils)

****

Ten minutes later…. Naraku has completely demolished the meadow, and various fires are spreading throughout the field.

Naraku: (lying on the cold, scorched ground) I did it…. This should stop Kagura and her sinister plans for a while…. Ha-ha-hahahahahahaha!! (stands up and turns around)

A Single Daffodil: (swaying in the wind)

Naraku: ….

The Single Daffodil: (sways in the wind again)

Naraku: **AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! **(runs around the burnt wasteland screaming)

Kanna and Kagura: (watch helplessly as their master runs around the destroyed meadow like a complete psycho)

Kanna: …I think he's way beyond our help now, Kagura.

Kagura: Or anyone for that matter… (sigh) My God, how could forget that he's allergic to pollen…?

Naraku: (still running around the demolished meadow) HA-HA-HA-HA-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Kanna: …I wonder if he'll ever return to his old self…?

Kagura: Don't worry about it, Kanna. He's an imbecile. (walks up to the single Daffodil) (whispers) Good job, little one. My plan is working out just as I planned…. Mwahahahahahahaha….. (tucks the Daffodil away in her sleeve and walks away)

I know I said I'd update when I get 3 reviews… but I had this terrible writers block and I couldn't think of anything, so sorry is this chappie is kinda lame… well, anyways, I hope you enjoyed this chappie and stay tuned for the Third Installment of "Naraku VS.", Naraku VS. A Toaster! It's just not his day….

Review please!


	3. Naraku VS A Toaster

Sorry it's taking me so long to update, it's just that I have quite a few fics I'm working on here, so, you'll just have to be patient… sorry! But I want to thank those of you who've reviewed so far: SiriousB1, Chibi-chan, Joebddn, inuluvr45, Tyri Dragonite, Sessha's Crazy, fairyfurby, d2k3001, awaitingchange, BlackSaiyan1, Fire Demond, Bubblegumkitsune, Beefy Baka, Rachel, Sakura Butterfly, Kagome Goddess of Light, Dogover-111591, Neko-Jinx, CasinoChao412, I OWN ALL, EVIL1, and Chris C. [I think that's everyone… sorry if I left you out!]

Thanks for all of your support! (sniff)

Oh and, I've come up with a new format… I think I can be more descriptive this way.

On with the random Naraku insaness!

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When we last saw Naraku, he was battling an 'evil' field of Daffodils.

Kanna: I think Master Naraku has lost it…

Kagura: Oh yeah.

****

Now, hours later, Naraku has some how ended up in the parlor of his Black Castle, surrounded by his two 'favorite' incarnations.

"AHHHH! EVIL MUFFIN!!" Screamed Naraku, jolting up from the couch he was laying on.

"Master Naraku…" Kanna asked in her natural quiet tone, "are you… feeling alright?" Naraku looked around. _How did I get in the parlor…? _The black-haired demon silently questioned. Naraku heaved a slight sigh. Everything that had happened earlier was a gentle blur. All that he could recall was some jargon about an evil muffin… whatever that meant.

****

However…

"I think that sedative worked, Kagura." Kanna whispered into her sister's ear.

"See, what did I tell you? I knew that would calm him down." Kagura stated. Kanna nodded, then walked into the parlor where her master lay. _My plans are all turning out… _Kagura thought sinisterly. _Just a few more sedatives and…_

"Kagura!" Naraku bellowed from the parlor. "What are you doing?"

"N-Nothing!" Kagura stated nervously. "Nothing at all, my Lord!" _Heheheheheh…_

****

Later That Afternoon…

Naraku still lie on the couch in the parlor famished.

__

Just what's wrong with me…? I feel so tired… The half-demon pondered. Just then, Kanna walked in carrying a huge, cardboard box. Kagura lifted her head in curiosity.

"What's that, Kanna?" The wind sorceress asked curiously as she motioned to the large cardboard box that Kanna was holding.

"Oh… this?" Kanna said as she set the box on the floor before the other two. "I don't know… the authoress sent it."

"Rumiko?" Kagura and Naraku said unison as they narrowed their eyes.

"If it's from her it can't be good." Kagura stated.

"Well, I am curious to know what it is," Naraku said, "Kagura, open it."

"Yes, Master Naraku." Kagura said rolling her eyes.

****

So The Demons Opened The Box That The Authoress Had Sent Them…

"It's a…"

"…a toaster."

"Why would the authoress send a toaster?" Naraku asked inquisitively. Kanna then began to read the note that had been attached to the peculiar gift.

"What's it say, Kanna?" Kagura asked peeking over the small child's shoulder.

"Apparently," Kanna said in a low, whispering voice so that only Kagura could hear, "they don't have any greeting cards for 'sorry that your evil demon lord went completely psycho over a small confectionery treat', so, she sent us this toaster." Naraku lifted his head.

"Really?" Kagura asked scratching her head. "I thought this was a kind of 'everyday' thing"

"Yeah, me too--"

"What are you two whispering about?" Demanded Naraku.

"Uh, oh nothing!" Kagura and Kanna said in unison. Their Lord raised an eyebrow.

"Really?"

"Yes! Really!"

"…Alright."

****

Reassuring Their Lord That They Were Not Plotting Anything Dangerous, Kagura and Kanna Continued Their Hushed Conversation.

"Kagura…" Kanna began, "It also says 'hope you can use this to torment Naraku so that you're able to--"

"What does the note say?" Naraku asked suspiciously.

"It uhhh…."

"Ummm…."

"Well?"

"Uhh…"

"It says that…"

"Hm?"

"Uhhh…."

"How about some toast!?" Kagura piped cheerfully.

"Y-Yes!" Kanna said. "That sounds like a great idea!"

****

So, the two girls plugged in the toaster and put in two slices of toast. However, due to the fact that Kagura and Kanna both needed to 'wash their hair', they had to leave Naraku Alone… With The Toaster. -Dramatic Pause-

Naraku sat quietly, eagerly waiting for his toast to be ready.

__

POP!

"Yayy!" Naraku shouted out in delight. Then he suddenly stopped himself. _Wait… evil demon overlords do not shout out in glee… _Naraku cleared his throat.

"Ahem! I mean. 'Excellent, my toast is ready.'" Naraku sinisterly tapped his fingers together, reached for his toast, but then quickly drew his hand back.

"OUCH!!!!" He shouted out in pain. "STUPID TOASTER!! You burnt my finger!!"

****

Strike 1…

After the evil demon had finished sucking on his poor, burnt finger for several moments, he decided to take out his toast and eat it.

"Mmmm…" Naraku said, sniffing the air, "the room has already been engulfed in the delicious aroma of burnt toast."

"BURNT TOAST!?!?"

Naraku stared at his burnt toast. _How could it…. But I… wait…. AARGH!!! YOU STUPID TOASTER!!!!!!!! _ Naraku thought ferociously as he threw his burnt toast against the one of the many walls in the parlor.

****

Strike 2…

Naraku stood up.

"What am I going to eat now?" Naraku said standing up, stretching. Just then, he smelled something else burning, and quickly turned around.

"Hmm? What's that--" The sight that Naraku then beheld was simply terrifying.

"My… My…. My…. My…"

****

"MY HIGH QUALITY EXPENSIVE BABOON CLOAK!!!!!!" The demon shouted out in terror as he watched his beloved baboon hide become burnt to a crisp. However, that was not all. Next to his now flaming cloak was his deluxe kit of make-up (including his prized purple eye-shadow) also engulfed in a sea of flames.

****

Strike 3! Naraku's sanity is outta here! (sorry, that was lame and uncalled for…)

Naraku panicked.

"My cloak! My make-up!" he shouted. "My sanity!" Just then Naraku began to scratch at the closest wall, trying to climb up it.

Then, it all came back to him.

__

Now I remember! The half-demon thought, _The muffin, the daffodils, Kagura's sinister scheme… it's all come back to me!!_

Naraku turned to face the now flaming toaster.

__

That's why Kagura and the quiet one left the room! So I could become burned alive by the evil toaster!!! That evil wind sorceress probably used her mind control powers to make the sweet, quiet one obey her every command!! THAT EVIL WENCH!!!!!!

Naraku glared at the toaster.

"I KNOW YOUR PLAN KAGURA!!!!!!!!!!" Naraku howled. Then, he summoned up all of his powers and let out a blinding, white light towards the toaster. The room set a blaze.

"Master Naraku!" Kanna cried as she ran into the room with Kagura not too far behind her, "are you alright?!" The platinum-haired girl called out over the sea of flames.

"Look!" Kagura shouted as she pointed to an insane Naraku as he danced about crazily in the flames, "there he is!"

"We… we have to do something!" Kanna stated as she looked towards Kagura, who was smiling sinisterly.

__

My plan is working…

****

Meanwhile…

"HahahahaHAHAHAhaha!!" Naraku laughed as he spun about in the flames. Just then, he heard the warped, distorted voices of his two incarnations.

He turned his head to look at them.

"MORE TOASTERS!!!!" He cried out, summoning up his demonic powers. Even though the two voices were indeed those of his two incarnations, he was too… well…too 'insane' to notice that the voices belonged to them, so he only saw two floating toasters in their place.

****

"DIE!!!!!!"

Back to Kanna and Kagura…

"DIE!!!!!!" They heard their Lord shout out as he hurled a huge ball of flames towards them.

"He's, he's…"

"RUN!!" Kagura yelled as she grabbed Kanna by the collar of her snow-white kimono and dragged her out of the fiery parlor.

****

Back to Naraku….

"HOW COULD I MISS!?" He cried out in confusion as he watched the two floating toasters retreat. He turned around, then he saw something that greatly disturbed him.

The single toaster, the same one that had burned his finger, toast, cloak and make-up was still sitting where it had been left.

In all of it's toaster perfect-ness.

****

"UAHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Naraku cried out as he aimlessly blasted around the room with his demonic powers, laughing insanely.

But no matter where he blaster, how much he blaster, or how he blasted… the toaster still lied there in all of it's toaster perfect-ness.

This drove Naraku even more insane. (if that's even possible)

He rushed over to the toaster, picked it up and repeatedly bashed it into his head, shouting "Die!" with every bash. And soon, the toaster lie dismantled on the floor….

Covered in Naraku's blood.

"It's dead… hahahahaha…" Naraku said, clutching the massive, bleeding concussion on his head. The evil demon overlord then crouched himself into a fetal position and began to rock back and forth within the fortress of bright orange flames, softly humming a rather deranged tune.

Well, that's it for this insane chapter.

Kanna: Rumiko, do you think Master Naraku is ever going to become his normal self again?

Hmmm, I don't know Kanna… I guess we'll just have to wait for the next chapter-- Naraku VS. A Bed.

Kagura: …A bed?

In a psycho ward.

Kagura: Ohhhh, okay, it makes more sense now.

Well, don't forget to review! -insert reviewing instructions from the first chapter here- I'll try to post the next chappie as quickly as possible!


	4. Naraku VS A Bed

As you have all noticed 's server has been down preventing us from logging in, so I couldn't update, sorry. So, to reward you for you're patience, I'm updating two chapters at once! Like I always say: Double the crazy, psychotic Naraku insanity, double the fun!

Kagura: Yes! I mean… poor Master Naraku…

****

As recalled from our last chapter…

Naraku: DIE… EVIL… TOASTER… ARGH!!!

Kagura: (grabs Kanna by the collar of her kimono) Run for it!!!

Our favorite -insane- hanyou had a little ummmm…. 'run in' with a toaster.

Naraku: HmmmmMMMMMMMMmmmmmMMMMMMMMMmmmmmm… (continues to rock back and forth in the fetal position)

However, thanks to Kagura's quick thinking(and the nice men in the white jackets) Naraku's now seeking treatment for his umm… "issues" in a Psycho Asylum.

A blinding, white light awakened Naraku from his slumber.

"Hm?"

Naraku carefully took a look at his surroundings. He was in a white room surrounded by various desks, and was lying in one of those squeaky hospital beds. Sitting in the center of the wall that was facing him was a medium-sized window.

"Where… am I?" Naraku asked aloud, glancing at different spots of the room- which didn't look at all familiar.

All of a sudden, he noticed sharp pain spreading across his forehead.

"Agh… why do I have such a pounding head ache?" The black-haired man wondered out loud as he gently rubbed the soar spot on his head that was buried beneath a mountain of gauze. Apparently, the sedatives/tranquilizers/God-knows-what-other-medicine-they-injected-into-poor-Naraku didn't work all the way (well, his memory was a bit hazy, so as a result he had no clue of why his head was covered in twenty layers of gauze, so at least it wasn't ALL a waste) and managed to leave the demon with a slight headache.

"Oh God…" sighed the powerful demon lord clutching his concussion. "It feels as if my forehead has been smashed repeatedly with a toaster…"

if only he knew/remembered…

Naraku sighed.

"Well, I am not going to get anywhere if I just around in this unfamiliar room all day with this colossal headache." Naraku stated. Thus, he decided to have a little look around. That's when he noticed it.

****

-Squeeeeaaaak-

"Hm?" The hanyou said looking around. _What was that hideous racket? _He asked himself. _Oh well, _Naraku thought as he continued to get up from the bed--

****

-Squeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaak-

__

There it is again! He thought. Apparently, poor Naraku was too drugged to notice that it was his bed that was making the noise and not one of that wretched Kagura's lackeys come to induce him into another state of psychotic disorder. He sat perfectly still, then he moved slightly and…

****

-Squeak!-

__

So! Naraku thought suspiciously. _There is some sort of being in this room!_ The long-haired demon peered around the room thoroughly. _And I shall unearth it's unsightly hide …_. This time, he was going to find the source of that bothersome, shrieking clatter. And so, he hastily stood up.

****

-SQUEEAAK!!-

"ALRIGHT, WHO IS THERE!?" The hanyou called out.

There was no reply.

Naraku grew paranoid. And, next to that, the massive concussion on his head was beginning to throb more vigorously . Therefore, he decided to go lay back down on his bed--

****

-SQUEAK!-

"UAHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!" Naraku screamed as he let out a shock wave of demon magic. And in the blink of an eye, the room was completely dismantled.

He looked around. Everything was pretty much scalded with the exception of a small number of diminutive, white patches on the wall, and the bed that Naraku had been resting upon. The evil hanyou heaved a slight sigh. Feeling that he had reassuringly destroyed the 'squeaking demon', he decided to lay back down and rest a spell before he made his next move. So, he belly-flopped on top of his bed--

****

-SQUEAKSQUEAKSQUEKSQUEAKYYYYYYYSQUEAK-

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!" Naraku wailed as he madly began to tare at his scalp. _How could it be… but I… ARGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_

Now the poor, powerful demon overlord had _finally _lost it. He began to focus all of his energy into one huge, massive ball of demonic force.

"Ha-ha-HA-hahaHA-ha!" Howled the psycho-pathic hanyou, "this mighty orb of demonic energy shall suffice for the annihilation of that troublesome racket!!" The black-haired man roared.

And so he went.

****

Meanwhile…

"So, this is the room that contains the "psychotic half-demon"?" Asked a tall gentleman in a white cloak as he swiftly flipped through a white, plastic clipboard that had several papers jammed in it.

"Yes sir," said a seconded man who was wearing those baggy, white hospital clothes. "That'd be him." He stated. The tall man nodded as he continued to sift through various papers shoved in his clipboard.

"Well, shall we have a look at him?" He asked sarcastically as he opened the huge, white door that led to Naraku's room. He looked in.

"…Oh my lord…?"

"W-what happened here!?" The seconded man shouted out. They both stared at Naraku who was positioned in the center of the scorched, ruined room laughing and twitching like he were some sort of mad man. Oh, did I mention that he was also foaming at the mouth?

The man in the long, white cloaked turned to his assistant.

"Get the tranquilizers and call for back up. Immediately."

His partner silently nodded in agreement, then swiftly bolted down the hallway.

****

As Naraku was being strapped into a straight jacket, one of the white-coated men walked over to the upside-down, scorched, torn-up bed that had caused the hanyou's psychotic outburst.

"Hm?" The man said as he walked over to the bed. "What's this thing doing laying upside down on the floor in such a beat-up condition…? Oh well, might as well turn it right-side up!"

So, the hospital worker grabbed hold of the bed and began to turn it over--

****

-SQUUUUUUUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!-

"UAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!"

"Oh, I'm sorry misses," apologized a young, brunette receptionist in a white outfit. "Visiting hours are over, sorry."

A frown slightly embraced Kanna's small face. "Isn't there some way we can see Master Naraku? I'm worried about him."

Kagura placed her hands gently on the young girl's frail shoulders and sighed. "Kanna, we're just going to have to come back tomorrow."

"Oh, okay."

As the two girls began to walk away, they heard the not-so-distant laughter of their master approaching them.

"…Naraku?" Kagura whispered in a baffled tone.

"Oh my…" Kanna squealed in horror as she watched her Master be dragged away laughing insanely by several men in white coats.

The two girls watched the bizarre incident with their jaws nearly reaching the floor.

__

My plan… Kagura thought as her befuddled expression twisted into a wicked smile. _It's working… mwahahahaha…._

"Mwahahahahahahaha!!"

"…Miss? I-is there something wrong?" The brunette receptionist asked worryingly.

"Oh, u-uhhh, I, uh… had something stuck in my throat. Yeah, my throat." Kagura declared as she nervously flashed a smile towards the young woman.

"Uhh…o…kay…" the petite receptionist said, turning her back trying to forget the awkward moment.

Kagura lowered her head.

Mwahahahahaha… hahahaha… MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!! [_cough_] [_hack_] _Ugh… this psychological evil laughter is doing a number on my psychological evil throat._

Wait, that made no sense.

Oh well.

MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

[_cough_]


End file.
